What does Surrogate Partner Therapy mean to me?

Surrogate Partner Therapy is:

Something powerful.   

Something life changing. 

Something that will help someone achieve some of the most sacred and holy of human experiences. 

Something that will change the lives and futures of families, our communities, people who are loved, people who want love, and the world. 

Surrogate Partner Therapy is about a team (therapist/surrogate) of people dedicated to helping someone who has committed themselves to changing their lives for the better and are willing to put in the work and time.  To release the shackles that society has placed on them to be “moral”, to be chaste, to be proper, to be good, or to perform in a certain way. A society that will not teach you what you need to know, but then laughs at you when you have no idea what you are doing or can not perform like a “stud” or a seductress.  

It begins with listening and learning about them.  Understanding their history, their wants, needs, and desires. Their needs and desires could be realistic, and they could also be motivated by what society tells them they “should” be doing or being. 

We can not fix them. We can not save them. We are their guide.  It’s their work, but we can hold their hand along the way.  We can support them in their learning, resisting, and those “Ah-Ha” moments.   Bring awareness to things they can not even see.  Show them things they didn’t even know they didn’t know.  We will nudge them, stretch them at their pace.  They will learn a skill set that may seem trivial at first or so daunting that it’s impossible.  We will meet them where they are at.  They will become sexually, sensually, and sexologically empowered in a way that most humans will never know.  

 They will see their past for what it was, embrace, devour, and inhale the present, and have confidence about their future.

 They will be better humans because of this experience we get to share with them.  We get to teach them about their bodies and their future partners. We get to teach them how to communicate and ask for what they want and do not want. We get to teach them how to say “NO” without apologizes. 

This work will help us to be better humans as well.  Because this work can also crack us open.  We will discover and grow right beside them. 

They can enjoy beautiful intense feelings of love towards us and we can welcome those feelings while at the same time guiding them in the knowledge that they will be able to love, communicate, and be intimate with anyone after our work is complete.  We can bring awareness that this work is just the beginning, just the first step to the rest of the life they can have with anyone they want. 

I am honored for the opportunity to do this work.  This work is sacred and holy to me.